The news that actress Salma Hayek wanted a boy instead of a girl is over a week old, and thus not especially relevant to much of anything anymore. The news that Salma Hayek has ridonkulously humungolicious Guadala-Ton-Tons (editor’s note: NSFW ) is always relevant, however.

In fact, we were so moved by Hayek’s photos that we just sent $1,000 to the National Sweater Monkey Liberation Society.

After all, huddled masses yearning to breathe free is what America is all about … well, until we build a border fence to keep out people who look like Hayek, anyway.

We think that’s lousy public policy, people … but we guess Republicans do need something to run on this year.